I knelt next to the edge of the cliff, completely numb. My last cry echoed off the mountains, the last lingering remains of the friend I had betrayed. My skin tingled where his fingers had grazed my arm, and the image of his terrified face as he sailed gently past me was etched in my mind. As I sat there, lost in thought, it seemed more and more that it had not been me that had driven him to his death, but that I had just been an observer. It could not have been me. It was not possible that I had killed the gentle man who had guided me selflessly through the mountains, but I had. In a blind rage, I had murdered a friend.
Tears slid down my face, stinging my eyes with their salt. I made no movement to brush them away. My breath was steadier, no longer heaving from the exertion of avoiding his touch. My throat was raw from yelling at him, yelling that I hated him. He died thinking that I hated him.
Cireno still stood with his long dagger at Clothis’ throat, holding her away from me. I was grateful for him at that moment. Clothis probably thought I was a monster, and she was right.
“Leila,” Clothis said softly, breaking the silence.
“Just go,” I replied without turning, too lost in my grief to hear the pain in her voice.
Cireno moved to stand next to me, placing a comforting hand on my shoulder. He kept his eyes on Clothis while I stared at the cliff, as if I could bring him back by sheer willpower. I heard Clothis take a step forward and pause.
“You heard her,” Cireno said on my behalf. “Leave. She wants to stay with me.”
“Is that true, Leila?” Clothis asked. “Is that what you want?”
I said nothing. I heard her take another step and felt Cireno leave my side to face her. Clothis gasped and stopped moving. I glanced emotionlessly over my shoulder to see Cireno holding the Dyrel woman back with his weapon. Tears were brimming in Clothis’ eyes as she stared hard at me, ignoring the blade at her throat.
“Jakob was right,” she said harshly. I flinched at his name. “You’re not the Huryl Warrior, and you’re not the Dyrel Promised One. You are a scared child and I was wrong to have believed in you.”
Her words washed over me like a flood. I had failed Jakob by killing him. I had failed her in my cowardice. Why should I return to the world? Why not stay with Cireno here? At least Cireno expected nothing of me. I could not fail him as I had failed the others.
“Yes,” I agreed in a dead voice. “You were wrong to believe in me. I’m not what everyone wants me to be. I let everyone down. Why should I go back?”
“You’re welcome here,” Cireno said soothingly to me. “Here you can be no one but yourself. You can be happy.”
Clothis drew her sword and swung it angrily at Cireno, her voice exploding in a cry of fury. He blocked her blow with his dagger as I stared dumfounded, my mouth hanging open in shock. Cireno fought back and I watched as my two friends dueled before my eyes. I could not stand to see another friend die, and their battle fuelled the anger that had been stirring in my gut.
“Stop it, Clothis!” I cried. “He’s done nothing!”
“You think so?” Clothis grunted between strikes. “How do you think Jakob got all those fresh cuts? This man attacked us last night!”
Jakob’s image appeared in my mind again. He had looked tired and pale, his once pristine uniform torn and soaked with blood, wounds that he had sustained on my behalf. He should not have looked so haggard, I realized. I glanced at Cireno and noticed fresh cuts on his arms and stains of blood on his clothes, as if he had been in a battle as well.
“Cireno?” I whispered, my heart trembling as I waited for the words I knew were coming, but did not want to hear.
“Lies, Leila,” he replied. “I never left your side. I cared for you. All I’ve done has been for you!”
“Do you know why Jakob followed you?” Clothis asked, he voice cutting through my confused thoughts. “Do you know why he wanted to protect you? Why he abandoned his King for you? Not because you’re the promised one or because you see spirits, but because of who you are! He thought you were special, Leila. He cared for you enough to forget his own life so you could fulfill your destiny. He could have gone home to his farm and family, but he chose to follow you!”
I thought back to the first night I had spent in this world, when Roric had found me and thought I was nothing but a simple village girl.
“We’re farmers, mostly,” he had said about
his life. “It’s a quiet life, but when I heard Huryl had been invaded, I left
my wife and sons to join the battle. Can’t say it was the smartest decision of
my life, but I have to protect them.”
“Why didn’t your sons come?”
“Too young,” Roric replied with a laugh. “My eldest came, Jakob. He’s in the battle somewhere, or lying dead.”
I remembered how sad I had felt, seeing the expression on Roric’s face change when he realized his son might never come home. Now it was true, and it had not been the war that had killed him.
Memories spilled through my mind like a waterfall. I had been with Roric around the campfire, then I recalled my first meeting with Jakob. I had been with Fynn, and Jakob had tried to prevent us from leaving the camp. He had stood his ground, doing his duty in spite of the opponent he faced.
“You
are brave,” Fynn had said. “But I will kill you if you don’t yield.”
Tears filled my eyes again as I found myself back at the Huryl camp, friendless and preparing for death, when Jakob had given me the canteen of water and promised to save me.
“I will do what I can,” he had promised. “If
you can escape, run into the mountains. Hide. I will come to you if I can, help
you return to the Spirit Wood.”
And again, on the mountain, surrounded by Huryl guards. It felt like a lifetime ago, when Jakob had pushed me behind him and stood with his sword at the ready, prepared to die to keep me safe.
“I can’t,” Jakob had told the soldiers. “I
will protect her.”
I hung my head, my tears standing the rocks on which I knelt. I could not believe how blind I had been. How could I have accused Jakob of being greedy, when he was the most selfless person I had encountered in this world? How could I have ever doubted him? I rose slowly to my feet, watching Cireno as he broke off his duel with Clothis and the two stood panting and eyeing each other warily.
“What do you want?” I asked him. “Tell me the truth.”
Cireno laughed. “I have, Leila. All I want is you, to keep you here with me so the war will never end. The Huryl and the Dyrel will massacre each other while we watch. There is no hope for peace as long as I have you. Killing that Huryl scum and this Dyrel witch are just delightful bonuses.”
My eyes widened in surprise, then grew hard with renewed anger. The fury in my heard swirled around like a maelstrom, and the symbol on my hand burned so severely that it cast a red light. Clothis stared in amazement, and Cireno smiled easily at me.
“What are you going to do?” he asked. “Kill me, like you killed your friend? Does my blood make his more bearable?”
“I will not be made a fool,” I said in an even tone. “I will not serve any master.”
I raised my marked palm above my head, the red light shone from it like a flame, but my eyes never left Cireno. He had the good sense to look a little frightened, but held his ground. Clothis moved slowly away.
“Spirits of Earth and Sky, Water and Flame,” I called in a voice that did not sound entirely my own. “I summon thee! Fulfill the wishes of my heart!”
My mind was awhirl with the thoughts and emotions of the spirits I had called. I had never evoked them in this way before, but I had no doubt they would respond. I felt the fire spirits curl around me, their warmth seeping into my heart to read my desires before skipping across the small valley to consume Cireno in purifying flames. The spirits of air swirled about my head, exploring my mind freely before whisking away to do my bidding. The flames around Cireno leapt higher, fuelled by their wind.
I stood as a statue, completely exposed to the spirits who soared in great numbers through the air. Water spirits danced around Clothis, shielding her from the heat of the fire, and earth spirits gave her food. She took it gratefully but did not eat, her eyes locked on the writhing form of Cireno and my emotionless face.
When I heard the whispered words of the fire spirits, ensuring me my wishes had been fulfilled, I lowered my hand and the red light disappeared along with the spirits. Nothing remained of Cireno but a blackened spot on the rock, his ashes having been scattered by the wind. I lowered my head, aware that one wish had not been fulfilled, and I turned to glance back at the cliff. Standing there were two figures I had never thought to see again. One leaned heavily on the shoulders of the other, but his face was smiling. The other regarded me with an expression of concern.
“Fynn?” I whispered, turning to face them. “Jakob?”
I dared not speak their names loudly in case they vanished. If they were illusions, I wanted them to stay as long as possible. I took a hesitant step towards them, finding Clothis by my side. Jakob tried to stand on his own, but faltered and Fynn held him so he did not fall.
I had no words. I had gone through anger, sorrow, numbness, and anger again, and found myself completely unprepared to deal with happiness. The excitement of the spirits lingered in my mind, confusing my thoughts with their own and I shook my head to make sure I was not dreaming.
“You fell,” I stammered. “You fell…”
“I fell,” Jakob agreed with a grin. “But one of those rock creatures caught me, and the Woodwalker was sitting on its shoulder.”
I looked up at Fynn, as if not daring to believe this story without confirmation. Fynn nodded, but his troubled expression did not change. He seemed drawn and tired, not like his usual self, but more like the self I had seen when he had been poisoned with iron.
“I heard from the spirits what had happened,” Fynn said in the soft, soothing voice I had missed so dearly. “I had to make sure you were all right.”
I stumbled forward the rest of the way, throwing my arms around Fynn and Jakob. Fynn was startled by the movement and nearly dropped Jakob as he compensated for my additional weight. Clothis appeared beside him, steadying him as I sobbed into his shirt.
“What are you doing here?” Clothis hissed to Fynn. “You’re not supposed to leave the forest.”
Fynn said nothing, but looked down at me as I held him tightly. I had been a fool, but my own fool. I knew now that these three friends I had found were the truest I could ever hope for.
“Leila?” Jakob asked in a pained voice. “I’m happy to see you, too, but could you let me go now? I did just fall off a cliff, you know.”